moving forward.
To begin, it must be laid forth that I will not, (and neither will you) further judge the actions of those that surround us. For it has been too long that I have used the reactions of others to my (somewhat) ordinary behaviors as a premiss for criticism. Forwardly, I promise to spew in the visual form of words the impressions felt mono-visually by my spirit - without censor to true (or as it may seem) feelings.
Lost is the state of my consciousness. And with that, I would like to discuss the understanding of consciousness as it exists in my own personal realm. First, it is pivotal to define (or at least touch on) the definition I find most suiting to such awareness. Consciousness is defined (to me) as the present state of awareness. While (at times) I like to look back unto moments of awareness that I was not "aware" of momentarily but "conscious" of in the latter - I must conceded that such is not consciousness.
A wise man guides me into a place of "good," and I (at the moment) disregard his direction. Moments after, I collect myself and find that his vision was..."visionary," (for lack of better term). It is the existence of such defects in my overall personality (and many others) that I accept the flaw in my instinctual prospective. And thus, lack of awareness. Now some may disagree, and argue that the re-COLLECTION of a particular behavior and re-EVALUATION of further embodiment is evidence of OVERALL consciousness - I disagree. Consciousness is thus, instinctual.
Do you remember a time when (for example) substance abuse completely changed your rational decision making patterns? I do. During those times, I characterize myself as one who lacked a fully developed conscious. While many of times I have judged in retrospect and frowned upon the decisions I made while under the influence of substances, such conceit does not change the state of consciousness I had (or didn't have). A conscious decision (to me) exists eternally. And thus the conscious is not limited to any physical boundaries. It shares with the spirit (and only the spirit) that characteristic. And it is for that reason that I have chosen to train and sculpt my conscious (and in-turn my spirit) for the obstacles that await me.
I'd like to become a person whose characteristics exist at the conscious level, versus the sub and unconscious realms. This enlightenment is completely new to me, only rising to surface within the past few days. I want to be "who I am" on purpose, and not by design.
I am Michael Kay Alexander Keshishian, and I promise (to all that is holly) that I will work to succeed in achieving such aim. And before making the mistake of putting myself in both "driver" and "passenger" prospective - I will concede that god, and only god can judge whether I succeed at such aim. In the process, I will analyze and criticize the road that becomes paved throughout my physical existence here on planet earth.
From this day forth, I promise to live consciously.
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